Step 1 Quick Reference Card

This Week’s Skill

Notice brain states — don’t teach during meltdowns

No new strategies for the kids this week — just noticing and waiting.

The Question

For ThemFor You
Flooded or receptive?Flooded or okay-enough?

Flooded Signs

Kids: Screaming, hitting, rigid, glazed eyes, irrational, OR suddenly quiet/blank
You: Racing heart, clenched jaw, urge to yell (or calm outside, exploding inside)

If Anyone is Flooded

SAY LESS
STAY CALM  
KEEP SAFE
WAIT

“Wait now, teach later.”

If eye contact or touch is too much for either of you, just stay nearby. Presence counts.

Daily Practice (3x/day)

  1. Hand on heart
  2. Breathe in 4, out 6-8
  3. “I’m a good parent having a hard moment.”

Environment Task

Remove 1/3 from ONE hotspot this week.

Sibling Fights

Dangerous or just annoying?

Mastery

You think “flooded or receptive?” before reacting — at least half the time.

Step 1 • Phase 1: Regulated Parent, Safer Home