Step 2 Quick Reference Card

This Week’s Skill

Try to connect for up to ~2 minutes before teaching/fixing

Move toward, get low, say little — correction comes later.

For some kids, quiet presence IS connection. Follow their cues.

The Move

  1. Move toward (not away)
  2. Get low (their level)
  3. Say little: “You’re upset.”
  4. Wait ~2 min (or until calmer)
  5. Then: “What happened?”

Connect Sounds Like

Not ThisThis
”You can’t hit!""You’re so upset."
"Use your words!""Something’s really hard."
"Why did you do that?""I’m here.”

Mantras

CONNECT FIRST
TOWARD, NOT AWAY

Put sticky notes where meltdowns happen.

Transition Cue

Pick ONE hard transition. Add ONE predictable cue (song, rhyme, timer, snack). Same cue every time.

Sibling Fights

Connect to the complainer’s feelings first:

Then investigate.

Mastery

You feel the urge to correct — and pause anyway.

Step 2 • Phase 1: Regulated Parent, Safer Home