Step 6 Quick Reference Card

This Week’s Skill

Co-regulate during meltdowns. Time-in, not time-out.

Stay with them. Don’t send them away when they need you most.

Emotion Coaching Sequence

StepWhat to Do
1. Name feeling”You’re so frustrated”
2. Validate”Of course you’re upset”
3. Set limit (if needed)“And hitting isn’t okay”
4. Offer strategy”Would you like to squeeze my hands?”

Co-Regulation Script

“You’re having such a hard time. I’m going to sit with you.”

Stay nearby. Speak slowly. Wait.

If They Need Space

“I’ll be right outside the door. You’re safe.”

Check back. The message: space is okay, but I’m not leaving.

Some kids calm best with space. That still counts as co-regulation if you stay available and check back.

Calm Strategies by Age

2-Year-Olds6-Year-Old
Hug, rock, singBreathing together
Lovey, movementCalm corner, squeeze/push
SensoryDraw the feeling

Yell-Less Plan

  1. Mantra: “This is not an emergency”
  2. Reminders: Sticky notes in trigger spots
  3. Escape route: Water on face, step outside

Calm Corner

Soft things + fidgets + headphones.

Introduce when calm — not during meltdown.

Sibling Meltdowns

Don’t coach both at once. Stabilize one, then the other.

Mastery

You co-regulate during a meltdown at least sometimes — not fixing, just present.

Step 6 • Phase 2: Connect & Name Feelings