Step 7 Quick Reference Card

This Week’s Skill

Describe and inform instead of commanding

Invite cooperation. Don’t demand obedience.

The Formula

StepExample
1. Describe what you see”I see bare feet”
2. Give information”We leave in 5 minutes”
3. One word (once established)“Shoes.”

Transformations

CommandDescription/Info
Put on your shoes!I see bare feet. We leave in 5 min.
Clean up!When toys are in basket, we can find them.
Stop running!Inside is for walking.
Be quiet!The baby is sleeping.

Age Scripts

2-Year-Olds6-Year-Old
”Shoes go on feet!” (+ point)“I notice you’re not dressed. We leave at 7:30."
"Food stays on plate.""Your plate is still on the table.” (wait)

Key Principles

SAY LESS
WAIT MORE
10-30 SEC PROCESSING TIME
GET CLOSE BEFORE SPEAKING
USE VISUALS WHEN POSSIBLE

You will still give commands sometimes. That’s okay.

Visual Support

Create ONE visual for a recurring issue:

Post at kid-eye level.

Command Audit

Track commands for one day. Replace ONE with description/info.

Sibling Fights

“I see two kids who both want the same toy.”

Then wait. Let them problem-solve.

Mastery

You catch yourself before commanding and rephrase — at least once a day.

Step 7 • Phase 3: Cooperation Without Coercion