Replace power struggles with choices and play
Both options must be acceptable to you. Silly beats loud.
ND hack: Both options must be acceptable to you, and never more than 2.
| Instead of commands | Offer two options |
|---|---|
| ”Put shoes on!" | "Shoes first or jacket first?" |
| "Time for bath!" | "Walk to bath or hop like a bunny?” |
| Move | When to use |
|---|---|
| Robot voice | Routine resistance |
| Whisper | They’re tuning you out |
| Incompetence | ”I can’t find my coat!” |
| Race | Transitions |
| Song | Anything |
Replace ONE power struggle with play today. Notice what happens.
Audit A days (arousing) vs C days (calming).
Add a C half-day after your busiest days.
You have 2-3 playful moves you reach for naturally — at least sometimes.
Step 8 • Phase 3: Cooperation Without Coercion