Step 10 Quick Reference Card

This Week’s Skill

Hold a boundary without yelling or caving. Stay present.

Their upset doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

“You want ___. AND it’s time to ___.”

Situation	Script
Leaving park	”You want to stay. AND it’s time to go.”
Screen time	”You wish you could watch more. AND screens are done.”
Sharing	”You want to keep it. AND sister gets a turn.”

Use AND, not BUT. Both things are real.

“I won’t let you [hit]. I’m here with you.”

For safety limits. Calm, clear, no repeating.

If this phrase escalates your child, skip it and use the ND adaptations below.

1. STATE calmly (once)
2. ACT (move, remove, redirect)  
3. STAY present ("I'm here")
4. DON'T explain during meltdown
5. REPAIR after

PDA: Use “I’m going to help your body calm down” instead of “I won’t let you”
Transitions: 5-10 min warnings before limits kick in
Shutdown: Also flooded — stay present, give time

Pick your wobbliest boundary. Hold it once this week.

One in, one out. New toy in → old toy out.
Keep the simplicity from earlier weeks.

You hold a boundary without yelling or caving — at least sometimes. And you stay present through the upset.

Step 10 • Phase 4: Boundaries, Siblings, Problem-Solving