Step 16 Quick Reference Card

Self-Empathy Check-In (2-5 min)

  1. Pause — “Something’s happening in me”
  2. Sensations — Where in my body?
  3. Feeling — Tired? Resentful? Hopeless?
  4. Need — Rest? Appreciation? Autonomy? Space?
  5. Mourn — “It makes sense I’m struggling. This is hard.”
  6. Request — One small thing I can do?

Four Steps (Body-Based Alternative)

  1. Recognize — “I’m suffering right now.”
  2. Drop the story — Let go of why/whose fault.
  3. Turn toward — Feel it in your body. Where?
  4. Offer kindness — Hand on heart. “I’m here.”

Should → Choose

Instead ofSay
”I should be more patient""I want to be patient because connection matters to me"
"I have to make dinner""I choose to make dinner because I value feeding my family"
"I shouldn’t yell""I want to find other ways to express frustration”

Anger Translation

  1. Notice: “I’m angry”
  2. Thought: “What am I telling myself?”
  3. Need: “What do I actually need?”
  4. Request: “What can I ask for?”

Protect One Thing

Schedule ONE thing for yourself this week.
Put it in your calendar.
Tell someone it’s non-negotiable.
If derailed, reschedule within 24 hours.

Step 16 • Phase 6: Parent Sustainability